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John, it said something aboutan official name change for you, that you should use this name and yournew email address for all communications and class registrations. Did youask for your name to be changed to Bethany, a woman's name?"For what seemed like forever, I just froze and did not know what to say.Eventually I tried to minimize this issue, saying "this is just a thingfor my grad assistant job, so I can keep working there. I needed awoman's name for the paperwork or they couldn't keep me and I would losemy job and have to quit." I know it's weird, but it's what I had to do to stay in school. Pleasedon't be mad at me mom." Then I held my breath while it was her turn tospeak. She was too quiet for too long, and I was getting worried.Eventually she said, "what should I call you now, dear. What do you wantyour mother to call you?"This really backed me into a corner, because I would LOVE for my mommy toapprove of me as a girl, as Beth, but I wasn't sure how she would handleme saying. "Denis left early this morning. Did he tell you?" Yeah. He said he was going to Montreal and would be back Wednesday. I was thinking about going back to Vancouver this week." Oh ... don't Colin. Stay here for a few days. Just let things in your life cool down for a while. You need that." I won't argue with you, Cassie. This past week has been awful. I keep wondering when it's all going to end. Is there still someone out there looking for me? The River Riders? The police? I don't even know who I am any more. Am I Colin, or am I Nathan? What kind of a life does that lead to?" Colin ... you need some time to recover. A period of adjustment. You can't just go on with your life when so much ugliness has happened to you. Denis says you have all the money you'll even need for the rest of your life. Use it! Go to Egypt ... or the North Pole ... or ... I don't know ... anywhere. Get way from all this. Find yourself! Make a new life for yourself. Please!"I walked to Cassie and embraced her. She.
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